World Sleep Day is upon us (13th March, pop it in your diary between school run and collapsing on the sofa), and let’s be honest – sleep and motherhood have a complicated relationship.
We’ve spent years getting babies to sleep, toddlers to sleep, teenagers to please just go to sleep. But somewhere along the way, our own sleep became the punchline. “Sleep when the baby sleeps!” they said. Ha. As if.
So instead of another sleep expert telling us to “create a relaxing bedtime routine” (because nothing says relaxing like lying there mentally reciting tomorrow’s to-do list at 2am), I asked actual London mums what really helps when sleep plays hard to get.
Here’s what Laura, Rosalba and Caroline swear by – no patronising, no “just try harder.” Just real tricks from women who’ve been there.
“I thought caffeine only mattered after lunch. I was wrong.” – Laura, mum to Sofia (7) and Matteo (4)
“Look, I’m Italian. Coffee is basically a food group. But I was struggling to fall asleep even when I was exhausted, and it made no sense – I never drink coffee after 3pm.
Turns out my three-coffee-a-day habit was the culprit, even though my last one was early afternoon. I cut back to two, swapped the afternoon one for a glass of water with a quick walk around the block, and honestly? I’m asleep within 10 minutes now. Who knew.”
The trick: Caffeine has a longer half-life than you think. Try stopping after your second cup, even if it’s early. Your 11pm self will thank you.
“My brain needed a distraction from itself.” – Rosalba, mum to Luca (9)
“My problem isn’t falling asleep – it’s stopping thinking. I’d be lying there reliving conversations from 2015 or planning next week’s meals. My friend told me about this weird thing called Cognitive Shuffle.
You pick a random word – say, ‘pizza’ – and for each letter, you think of as many words as you can starting with that letter. Penguin, post, potato… it’s so boring and random that your brain gives up and goes to sleep. Sounds mad, but it genuinely works. I’ve stopped mentally arguing with people at 1am.”
The trick: Pick a neutral word and alphabet-game your way to sleep. It scrambles your brain in the same way it naturally does when you’re drifting off.
“I refused to give up my phone before bed. So I compromised.” – Caroline, mum to newborn Elena (8 weeks) and Leo (3)
“Look, I know we’re supposed to have a ‘digital sunset’ or whatever. But sometimes 9pm is the first time I’ve sat down all day and I just want to scroll mindlessly. The blue light was definitely affecting me, though – I’d feel wired after 20 minutes.
My sister bought me a pair of blue light filtering glasses for Christmas, and I wear them for the hour before bed. They look slightly ridiculous, but I don’t care – I can still doomscroll, and I fall asleep way faster. Win-win.”
The trick: If you can’t quit screens, cheat with blue light glasses. Or at least turn on night mode. Every little helps.
“I was holding stress in my face without realising it.” – Laura again
“This one’s weird but hear me out. I read somewhere that we carry tension in our jaw and forehead without noticing. So now when I’m in bed, I do this little check: raise my eyebrows for a few seconds and let them drop, unclench my jaw, let my tongue rest at the bottom of my mouth.
It sounds so simple, but it sends this signal to my body that we’re not in fight mode anymore. I pair it with a slow breath, and it genuinely helps me shift into ‘okay, we can relax now’ mode.”
The trick: Scan your face. Chances are you’re holding tension you didn’t even notice. Let it go. Your jaw will thank you.
“Hot water bottle on my feet? Game changer.” – Rosalba
“I have terrible circulation, so my feet are always freezing in bed. I saw something about how sleep is triggered when your core temperature drops, and warming your feet actually helps that process by improving circulation.
So now I stick a hot water bottle on my feet for 10 minutes before sleep. It’s like a signal to my whole body that we’re winding down. Plus, warm feet just feel nice. Try it – it’s weirdly effective.”
The trick: Warm feet = faster sleep. Hot water bottle, warm socks, whatever works. Your feet deserve the attention.
“I trained my brain like a dog.” – Caroline
“Okay, this sounds mad but stick with me. I started using this lavender spray on my pillow every single night. After a few weeks, my brain started associating that smell with sleep. Now when I smell it, I actually start feeling drowsy. It’s like Pavlov’s dog, but for mums.
I only use it at bedtime – not during the day, not anywhere else. It’s become this consistent cue that tells my brain ‘okay, we’re doing the sleep thing now.’ Works better than counting sheep, anyway.”
The trick: Pick a calming scent and use it only at bedtime. Eventually your brain gets the hint.
Look, we’re not sleep experts. We’re just mums who’ve spent years trying to get someone else to sleep, and eventually realised we need to look after ourselves too.
Some nights will still be rubbish. Some nights you’ll still lie there thinking about that thing you said in 2016. But if one of these little tricks helps you drift off five minutes faster, or wake up feeling slightly less like a zombie? Worth a try.
Sweet dreams, lovely mums. You’ve earned them.
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Monica Costa founded London Mums in September 2006 after her son Diego’s birth together with a group of mothers who felt the need of meeting up regularly to share the challenges and joys of motherhood in metropolitan and multicultural London. London Mums is the FREE and independent peer support group for mums and mumpreneurs based in London https://www.londonmumsmagazine.com and you can connect on Twitter @londonmums
