Sex Club! What is that all about, you might ask, just as I did? Well, it was not what I expected, but better.
Like most participants, I felt a bit hesitant at first and unsure about what I got myself into, but as the event started, I was quickly put at ease by the fantastic hosts.
The first day started with sharing and speaking about some of the challenges and shame we hold around sexuality.
I felt some resistance but went along, and as the day went on, I felt a slow opening, and it became clear that many of us struggle with the same issues and shame around our sexuality.
I sensed that my shame evaporated the more it was spoken, and I felt more free, accepted, and joyful.
Perhaps there is a truth to the saying that shadows don’t survive being exposed to the light.
With the complete lack of good sex education and the many nuances involved in enjoying a connection to our own and others’ sexuality, this felt like a breath of fresh air.
We looked at boundaries and how to move between the space of taking care of ourselves and connecting with others.
It’s so easy to get lost in the other and forget ourselves, and it is also easy to become absorbed in our pleasure and ignore the other.
On day two, everyone felt more relaxed, and the energy was different.
More open, vulnerable, and playful.
One of the exercises that stood out for me was walking around with a blindfold and only connecting nonverbally.
It’s so simple and profound to experience how we hold our boundaries and stop caretaking for others.
How we dare to reach out for connection.
So many different emotions came up.
This was a safe place to look at these and notice our patterns.
I left the second day having met some great new people.
I felt more accepting of myself and my sexuality and feel more excited to explore the mental, emotional, and bodily aspects of my sexuality.
Clothes never came off, and boundaries were upheld above anything else.
It felt like a safe space to explore the parts of ourselves we so rarely or never get to speak about and share.
I wish it had lasted longer, but I will be back -)
London Mums’ editor Monica Costa came along too. Here are her thoughts: “I attended the retreat without having any expectations. I did not even want to read too much about it to avoid having prejudices about it. We all have issues with discussing sexuality to a certain degree, so this hub was great to be able to open up without feeling judged. After getting out of my comfort zone, to begin with, at the end of the second day, I felt totally ‘sex-positive,’ i.e. I now believe that I can, and I want to, talk openly about sex and learn more about it. For a woman like me, whose societal constraints have limited, I now think I am part of a new sexual revolution in the second part of my life. I love it, and I feel liberated.“
For the next Sex Club workshop, click here. This event is presented by The Psychedelic Society/.
To learn more about the next Sex Club workshop, click here
Thomas is the Founder of Zensensa.com, the leading institute in authentic relating.
He provides counselling for couples and singles and is an author and workshop facilitator.
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