Visiting a new baby? Here’s what you can do for mum!

Mums Tips

Parenting Skills

Published on Sunday, 02 November 2025 11:10

Last Updated on 03 November 2025

Monica Costa

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The new baby visit – a sacred social ritual where everyone coos over a tiny, squishy human while mum’s mask politely through a fog of hormones, exhaustion and a copious amount of dry shampoo. You’ve been waiting weeks, even months to meet this adorable little bundle, and all you want to do is put the camera in its face and take pictures.

But before you grab your keys and head on over, there are a few rules you need to know. Visiting a newborn is not about you, and if you show up without talking to mum first, you’re going to be in a lot of trouble. If you want to make an impression, you need to think about what you could be doing for mum.

Don’t just show up with onesies and baby toys. Don’t show up before she’s told you that she’s ready for visitors, and don’t turn up at the hospital if you haven’t been invited. You want to show up ready and willing to help the mother first, because while everyone else is asking for just one more cuddle, all she wants is somebody to hand her a sandwich and offer her a nap. So if you’re wondering how to be the kind of visitor who gets invited back and not quietly blacklisted, let’s take a look at your short guide to visiting a new baby the right way.

 

• Make it about her.

When you’re visiting a new mum, let’s say she’s given you permission to visit her in hospital and she’s still fresh from labour and giving birth. Bring her a present. Not for the baby, not for the postpartum body, but just for her. The baby’s not going to care about the gifts you give it. But you know who does care? The person who just brought a human into the world and hasn’t eaten a hot meal or had a sleep since. That’s why gift baskets for new moms are a total win. Skip the baby booties and fill a basket with goodies that she can actually use. Snacks that can be eaten one handed, fancies or coffees, an insulated mug, cosy socks, face masks and dry shampoo because showers will now be a luxury. And add a note that says that you’re available to help with housework, not babysitting when she needs it. It’s thoughtful, useful and just the right amount of cheeky.

 

• Always ask permission.

One of the biggest things that you can do for mum if you’re going to visit a new baby is ask permission. Repeat after me: Do not show up unannounced. This is not the time for surprises. New parents are running on fumes and a new mother is going through all of the postpartum hormones. Her body is feeling very vulnerable right now and the one thing she doesn’t want to have to do is feel like she has to get dressed up for you. Always text first and when you do make it low pressure. Offer to come for a visit to go and help her with making her some dinner. Offer to come for a visit to do the housework. Offer to come for a visit to have a conversation and a cup of coffee. Don’t ask to see the baby, don’t ask to hold the baby and don’t ask how the baby is because you want to put mum front and centre. All of those things are lovely – don’t get me wrong, but you want to ask permission to visit so that you know she’s comfortable first.

 

• Bring food if you want to be a hero.

If you want to be the MVP of postpartum visits, don’t bring flowers, bring dinner, bring lunch, bring snacks and bring breakfast. Basically anything that your new mother friend can eat that doesn’t require utensils or effort. If you want to go one better, come to her house with ingredients and a full grocery shop and cook for her. Tell her to sit down and cuddle her baby while you do the cooking and clearing up. If you can, pre make some meals for her freezer, fill up her fridge, bring something for her drink tray. You want to make sure that she’s comfortable and then once you’ve done that, offer to leave. Dropping off the food and leaving without the visit required is a nice thing to do.

 

• Don’t bring judgment.

It should go without saying really, shouldn’t it? Babies are cute. But there are so many things about advice out there that need to be said, and one of the biggest things is don’t do it. Unless you’re specifically asked for advice, do not give any advice. And for all the love of what is holy, do not comment on how she looks, whether she’s glowing or hasn’t brushed her hair in three days. She’s heard enough commentary from relatives and Instagram. Tell her she’s amazing. Tell her she’s doing a great job and mean it when she needs to complain because she will in those early scary days. Listen. Tell her she’s amazing and mean it.

 

• Offer real help.

One of the most well-intentioned but utterly useless phrases in the English language is. Let me know if you need anything. Nobody, especially a sleep deprived new mother, is going to text you at 2:00 in the morning and ask you to come to unload the dishwasher. Instead, you need to offer real help that is concrete. Tell her you’re going to do a grocery run and ask her what she needs. Tell her you’re happy to come over and fold laundry while she has a shower. Tell her you’re going to bring some coffee over and ask her what her order is. Specific offers feel more doable and they show that you mean it. And trust me, she’s going to remember that small act of kindness long after the diaper fog lifts.

 

When it comes down to it, visiting a new baby is exciting, but you need to put the mother first. The baby is still going to be there, but her needs need to be met so she doesn’t fall into that postpartum fog.